Actually, the heading is not quite true, I’ve since learned that when Mexicans refer to gringos they’re talking about white Americans. Not us Aussies. But the paradise bit is true. My friends in Puerto Vallarta are ex Aussies that now live the expat life in Mexico. My mate picked me up at the airport and because I flew domestically it was fast and simple. They have a lovely house on the side of a hill that overlooks the old part of the city. It’s the second time I have stayed with them. They’re both retired and have a nice, relaxed, healthy lifestyle which works well with me. My room (my daughter would dispute this and say it’s her room) has the most amazing view and they eat really well, are very active and they head out and about a lot which is great. Being on the side of Mt Everest means no matter where you go it involves walking up steps or very steep cobbled streets. I’m in Puerto Vallarta for 10 days all up.

We’ve had a few excursions while I’m here. We went up to Sayulita one day which is very popular and a bit like Bali. With the nice beaches, surf, restaurants, bars and all the bronzed young people from all around the world. Puerto Vallarta has a lot of big cruise ships visit and is a very gay friendly city and when I first arrived, they had some big gay pride celebration. I must look up the Spanish word for ostentatious.

My mate here has always had multiple bikes and done several big motor bike trips and so I am using him as my guru for my upcoming trip. He also happens to have a Kawasaki KLX 300 which has been sitting around under the carport for the last 12 months. Its only got a couple of hundred k’s on it as due to a few health issues that arose just after he got it. He was happy for me to take it for a spin. A brand new bike. Steep cobblestone streets. Driving on the right hand side of the rode. Perfect conditions for my first real motor bike ride in 40 years. We gave it a tidy up and he sent me to the petrol station for a trail run.

I knew I would be fine because I looked the part in my thousands of dollars’ worth of safety gear.

And I survived. A couple of stalls but I made it there and back. So, while I was all geared up and melting in the heat I headed off on my long awaited, proper ride up into the mountains. It was great. I must admit it was all a bit scary at first. The bike seemed so powerful. I had a few km’s of small villages with sealed roads, dogs, chickens, cows and traffic and then it was heading uphill on dirt roads through a dusty dry season, jungle. I probably rode on the dirt road for half an hour and despite a couple of time where I found myself on the wrong side of the road on a steep switchback corner, I think I did okay. Very dusty but not a lot of traffic which was great.

I found a nice spot to turn around and pulled in to take a couple of photos. And have a pee. While I was there a young couple on an old bike without helmets pulled in and admired the bike. We had a conversation in Spanish which went well from my side but they probably rode off wondering what the hell I was talking about.

On the way back down I was a bit more confident. And then I dropped the bike. Actually it wasn’t really a drop. More of a gentle controlled lowering of the bike onto the ground. I’d pulled up on a cambered corner to take a photo and quickly realised my poor choice of place to stop and that my leg was about 100mm too short. No damage and I was able to stand the bike up easily by myself and no one knew it even happened. Except my mate. And everyone reading this. So all in all I called it a successful ride with a few lessons learned and a glimpse of what is yet to come.

Puerto Vallarta also has a thriving medical tourism industry. Lots of different medical services are available to the tens of thousands of northerners from the US and Canada who head down for cheaper medical procedures and some warmer weather. The medical professionals are well trained (often in the States) and have all the gear. A one hour consultation costs about $50Aud which is way cheaper than home but more than a whole days wage to the normal workers here (who use the local system which seems pretty good). I went to a podiatrist and had a professional pedicure, A skin doctor and had a full skin check (I also saw the same lady two years ago when I was here). At home it would be triple the price. Half the time. And I would need to book months in advance. Because you have the time you can ask lots of questions (in English) about general skin health etc. It’s great. I also had my teeth checked and cleaned and a few discoloured fillings replaced (for $200).

I’m physically and mentally ready to head to South America. But I’m still sorting out a few technical things. I’ve been trialling my InReach Mini 2 tracking device and linking it to my phone. I’ve also gone with the times and purchased an eSim from Airalo, which was a bit of a process to install but hopefully it’s as good as it’s cracked up to be. And I clocked over 1000 days straight doing Spanish on my Duolingo App. Please. Stop the applause.

And the credit card saga continues. They apparently closed my complaint because I said it was sorted. No I didn’t. I’ve now lodged a new complaint and they said it will take up to 30 days to process! It’s going to start affecting my direct debits linked to that account. It will be interesting to see what they do shortly when they need to take out money to pay off my credit card at the end of the monthly cycle.

I also have been making sure I can fit all my gear into my luggage allowance. I’ve got three flights with two different airlines over 19 hours to get to Cartagena in Colombia. A sizeable 23kg bag with all my bike gear that is getting checked all the way through. I hope. And I’ll have a 9kg carry on with most of my stuff and a small backpack with my computer and gadgets in it. I’m a bit worried about the fact that they shortened my layover in Mexico City from 2 hours to 1 hour. Not much I can do. I’ll soon find out.